...Breaking Up is Hard to Do...

I feel like I've been on hiatus from my blog for a long time and haven't really known how to start up again with a regular routine of posting and attracting followers that want to read about my adventures, my teaching endeavours and my life in general; I'm gonna carry on with a post about the latter.

So, those of you who know me, know about my relationship with an amazing Korean man. Those of you who don't, are about to...

Seven and a half years ago, I was living in South Korea teaching English in a city near Seoul called Bucheon. With a colleague, I'd frequently visit Outback Steakhouse to get some steak...and to creep on this incredibly hot waiter named Donki. Man, he was hot. After several visits to Outback with different friends, one of them ran into him outside of TGIFridays one Friday night (where we all met for drinks after work), and invited him in to join us. He did...and from that moment on, Donki became a big part of my life...I just didn't know it yet.

I had two weeks left in Korea after I had first met Donki outside of his work. We had managed to go on a couple of dates but as I was leaving, any sort of future was pretty slim. We said our goodbyes with a few tears and thoughts of 'what if' and I got on a plane to Canada...something I had eagerly looked forward to for months and months as I had a difficult first overseas experience in Korea and once told friends they couldn't pay me a million dollars (not won :P) to come back. I proved myself wrong though...

After an awesome summer at home in Canada with friends and family (whom I had missed so much over the year away), I decided to come back to Korea...but just for a bit. I had also enrolled in a Graduate Diploma of Education program at James Cook University in Australia for January 2007, but I'd return to Korea for the five months leading up to that. I called Donki the second day back, we met up and after one or two more dates, we realized this was going to be a full on boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Me and this Korean guy I was seriously crushing on from Outback were going to be an item. Life was good.

One of our first photos together on a date to Seoul Land in 2007

After five months of seeing each other, and his parents/family still not knowing about us because it was a big deal to be dating a foreigner, it came time for me to move to Australia. Because Donki (who now had a new English - Angus - because I told him I didn't want to date a 'jackass' despite the reasoning behind the name which was that he liked Don Quixote's story), and I had a great relationship up to this point, we decided to do long distance for the year while I was away. It was a long year but we kept in touch frequently and stuck it out. A year later, I was back in Korea again, working and living in Northern Seoul...and I was back with BokYoun again.

The year and the half flew by that I was in Seoul. I dealt with the death of my grandfather and BokYoun was there for support...as were two other friends that I was grateful to have in Seoul that year +Robert Young. I had met BokYoun's parents, we took our first trip together (to Beijing) and we learned a lot about each other and what made us compatible...oh, and we changed his name to "Beau" because it's close enough to "Bo...kYoun" and let's face it, he's handsome. Now, I was feeling it was time for me to make a change and explore my teaching options outside of Korea. I decided the place to do that would be China...not incredibly far from Korea...but it'd still mean a distance between us. BokYoun and I decided our relationship was strong enough to try things out...but first, he made a visit to Canada to meet my friends and family. To say they loved him, would be an understatement.

So, we had a great summer together in Canada, I found myself in China and low and behold, there was a position for BokYoun at my school. So, he came and we lived together in our first home together...a beautiful 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom pimp pad on the 32nd floor. It was an awesome year but it had its challenges...especially for BokYoun with his job. After a year, he decided he'd go back to Korea and work on his personal training career. I already felt indebted to him for giving me the freedom to move to China initially but also for giving up his plans to move to Australia with a friend that year to work and explore a country that I had also loved. He came back home to Canada with me for the summer and again, we had an amazing time. During the year, I made three trips to Korea to see BokYoun and things were going well...but I felt I needed another change and I didn't want to stay in Asia.

An opportunity to work in Germany presented itself and after weighing some of the other options I had on the table, I decided Germany was where I'd be moving. Again, BokYoun was ultra-supportive in urging me to go and to keep living my dream to explore and teach around the world. It was a hard, hard first year though. After not seeing BokYoun for another whole year, I spent the summer in Korea with him. I struggled with the decision of whether or not we should continue to pursue our relationship and after a lot of thought and an indepth conversation with BokYoun about it (that could easily be another blog post), I left Korea and my new fiance for another year in Germany. Our engagement I hoped would bring the added incentive that I needed to convince me that this relationship was it for me...that BokYoun was the one and that my life with him would continue for the rest of our lives.

Our first photo as an engaged couple in 2012...I hated my nail polish so I cropped out the ring...typical me.

My next year in Germany was brilliant. I had my footings in my school, I had established an incredible circle of friends and life in general, was great. But BokYoun wasn't here...and I was still happy and living my life without him. He was doing the same in Korea and saving money for a trip to visit Germany in August but I felt that our paths had diverged a bit. He came to Canada for Christmas (we met there) and it was awesome because we both fell into the lives/roles we're expected to play when we're there. It was comfortable and felt normal and everything was perfect...but it didn't change the fact that I was living a new life in Germany that he wasn't a part of, even though we still talked nearly everyday...and even though I still loved him. When BokYoun came to visit me in August, it didn't feel right. My two worlds collided and ultimately, when asked, I decided my professional life...the life I had built here without BokYoun...was more important to me at this point in time than our relationship. I struggled with this a lot because I knew I was valuing a job over an incredible human being who loved me more than I think anyone ever could. I loved him back...there's no way you couldn't love someone as amazing as BokYoun; he's friendly, outgoing, personable, considerate...he's BokYoun. He's the guy that helps a stranger with his/her bags up the stairs...in fact, he's helped a lady carry her groceries all the way to her house! He's quite possibly one of the most genuine and special people I've ever met in my life.
...But it wasn't right for us anymore.

So, four weeks ago, we decided to break up. We rebooked BokYoun's flight back to Korea to an earlier date than scheduled and as he walked through security at the airport, he took a part of my heart with him. I think we'll still stay in touch and I hope we will because after seven years, you get to really know someone...regardless of the long distanceness of a relationship. I think I'll still always think of him and how much he meant/means to me but at the same time, I'm glad that I can stop struggling with the distance bit of our relationship and follow my career path guilt free for putting this stress on us both. I hope a part of him is relieved too, that he can do what he loves without feeling pressure from me. He deserves the best of the world.

Reunited in Germany

I'm not sure if all my friends and family at home know about this yet...so here I am just putting it out there for the world to read. Unlike our engagement, I wasn't sure how to go about telling people...a phone call didn't seem quite right especially since it was definitely hard to talk about it for a while...especially knowing that the people I'd be telling loved BokYoun. A lot. With a break-up, (not that I've had many being as I've been with BokYoun since I was 23) there comes some risks, like, will my family/friends love anyone as much as they loved BokYoun? The bar is pretty high! I didn't have someone lined up for a replacement (just my job in the passenger's seat) so I'm starting a new journey and a new life this year, in exploring my options. From here on out, I'm going to work harder at posting on here, sharing my life experiences in teaching and travel...but now there'll be a new spin on things as I look at the world through a new lens. I hope you'll continue to follow and support me...